reasons to be grateful

it's been a while..!
i am sorry. i meant to write erlier, of course. it's just, too much has happened which kept me from writing, and then it all piled up more and more, so i had more and more to write about, which made me hestitate even more, because it was bound to be a long article, and i just didn't have any energy for that.
but, you deserve an update.
so. how to start? thelalst entry was written in fukuoka, still traveling with alois. i am writing this now in ari (the asian rural institute), tochigi-ken (ken=prefecture), north of tokyo. and in between... oh my goodness.
it started in kamakura, where i stayed for one week, to do an internsip with a pastor. the time was nice, even though i got more and more exhausted from traveling. the pastor and his family (i stayed at their house) were friendly, taking care of me, and the only problem was that once more i felt so bad at being a guest, at being in the way, a burden, someone others have to take of. i feel bad when someone cooks for me, every day, and i can't even do the dishes.
but, apart from that, it was really nice and much more interesting thatn i expected. well, except for that fact that my japanese is still so bad that most of the time i was sitting in the middle of some group (bible study, meetings...) not understanding much and trying to keep my smile convincing.
but then. on day two there. i realized the second most dreadful thing that can happen to you when you travel had happened to me: i lost my passport. (well, maybe third most dreadful, first being getting really ill and second losing your wallet.)
oh my goodness.
i could hardly sleep that night, after i had searched all my belongings and hadn't found it.
next day we started the great search (calling the hostels, alois and finally going to the police). nothing. the thing was lost - or stolen? i still don't know.
so, reason for gratefulness #1 was how much the pastor and his wife helped me. because i really was in a state.
nevertheless, i knew what i had to do. so, even though i was freaking out, i didn't lose my head.
something i am also grateful for. (#2)
the police were really nice, too. only unable to turn anything up. since i had lost my passport at some point during the kyushu trip, it could've turned up in a wide area...
so. the german embassy was less helpful (germans! beaurocracy!), but at least i figured out what i had to do.
unfortunately, i got an appointment for the embassy only a week later. originally, i had planned to go to ari right after kamakura. now, everything had to be changed, since the embassy is in tokyo, and going to ari just to go back down to tokyo one day later wouldn't have made any sense. (plus, it would've been really expensive.) so, i turned around all my plans.
and the people were all soooo helpful!
two friends let me stay in their apartment in tokyo - and shared their time and meals with me. several days, i bothered them in their small (but beautiful) flat. and i was really, very grateful that they put up with me. (#3)
another friend accepted that we should meet several days later. (#4)
and that sunday i accompanied fuji, who is another former ari volunteer and a friend, to his church - he just found a church in tokyo that he likes, and i was interested and joined him on sunday. well, the church was nice, but a little too american to me, i thought after the service. but then, we stayed longer, for bible study, and - more importantly - went for lunch afterwards. and there, i got to know so many really nice, intresting, friendly people! the 'youth' of the church (meaning they are mostly less then 30 years old), and since this church is english-speaking and ecumenical, those people were, too. there were people from the philippines, japan, america, hong kong, taiwan, vietnam...
it was a great day. and with some quite interesting, difficult topics, too. and so, suddenly, unexpectedly, i had found a group of friends in tokyo. (#5)
so. the visit to the embassy having been more or less succesful, i went up to ari, on the way meeting with an old friend. she had been volunteer with me in ari. and it was really nice to meet her again.
and then, i as in ari. strange, to be back after such a long time... and almost nothing had changed, and i could remember everything, my feet could go the ways by themselves - only most people are different now. still, i was welcomed enthusiastically by those who still knew me and friendly by the 'new' ones. and it felt good, being back here, where i know what i have to do. a bit of relaxing was finally possible to me, after such a long time of being a stranger in different places.
but, well, a few days later i went back to tokyo, to pick up my new interim passport from the embassy and get the japanese and chinese visa again. and while organising that, i had some trouble again (and one big 'oh my god'-moment) - and there was one staff member here who helped me so much, translating, telephoning, even taking me to the station in the early morning. (#6)
and in tokyo, i could stay in another dormitory, on short notice. (#7)
and i met fuji again, who went with me to all those embassy and immigration office stuff, translating, if necessary, and keeping me company, distracting me, stopping me from worrying - and we had such intersting talk! sitting in the train, café, embassy waiting hall, and talking about god, faith, ... it was great. (#8)
and, again, surprisingly, i could go to his church with him. so i met those nice folks again, and instead of having a lonely time drifting through tokyo, as i had feared, i enjoyed those days. (#9)
well, and now i am back. everything wiht my interim passport went well. i will pick up the passport with my new chinese visa when i am back in tokyo, on the 15th most likely. so, everything there is fine.
and i am in ari, feeling accepted, even not too cold, having enjoyable work and good food. only, i also feel more exhausted than i ever did before. physically as well as otherwise. i pushed through, made myself keep going even though i felt like crumbling, so long now. so long... actually, i feel it's more than i can take, but what can i do? i'll just have to keep going, there is nothing else to do.
and it's not long anymore now.
i just hope so much that everything will be fine. (there are still some difficulties about the passport, and i cannot manage that from here, so i had to ask my boyfriend to do that, and he has to do all the legal worries... #10)
and he also managed to get the visa for mongolia and russia, for both of us, and i think that's amazing. (#11)
so. well. i really can't tell what i think about the past month. is it a great chance to realize how much i can do, and how many people are helping? (oh, i forgot to write that i had some oif the worst backpain i ever had when i was in kamakura and tokyo, i almost couldn't walk one day...) is it like a test? or is it just the worst time i ever had?
i don't know.
i'm too tired to think about it.
i just hope i will manage the last 10 days.