Die Verwirrung einer Schildkröte: for example, today

...just do give you an idea of the strangeness of my life in these last weeks (or months):
i woke up at 5:30, and the thermometer showed 5°C. i forced myself out of my bed nevertheless, starting to feel cold immediately. one hour meditation, in which i completely failed today, because my leg was going totally numb, so i gave up and tried to revive it, which broke my concentration, so i spent the otehr half an hour or so waiting for the whole thing to be over.
then, supposedly no breakfast again, instead drinking that white stuff again. well... i had known the priest would leave for another town today, meeting a friend form somewhere else. yesterday, i was informed (upon asking) that he would bring that friend here, first, we would have lnch together, and then they would leave later. well, this morning, the priest announced he would be leaving to meet that friend at 8, which gave us about on hour sitting in the kitchen, trying to get warm, drinking water (me, hot water to get warm somehow). i didn't drink that white stuff, because i don't think diarrhea is healthy. instead, i waited til he went to chagne clothes and poured it into the sink. after he had left, i got myself some breakfast. while waiting, i read the newspaper online. (amazed, shicked and awed at what is happening in egypt right now.) so, when he was gone, i wanted to take a walk to get my feet warm, but then i saw my boyfriend was online, so i skyped with him. from 9 i was supposed to do samu (work which is at the same time spiritual exercise, cf. the monastery article), but i didn't really care about that, since i felt no meaning in destroying the poor grass in the parking place. so, i went for that walk first and did just half an hour 'weeding'. at 10, the priest came back, but not with his friend - with three of them. where they came from, i have no idea. we all sat in the kitchen drinking tea, they confused by the presence of that strange.looking girl. they were quite convinced they could never communicate with me, so they were very surprised as they realised i could speak some japanese. however, conversatoin was difficult, and it didn't help that the priest disappeared into his roms several times. finally, after some talking (mostly them among each other, while i concentrated on looking not too bored and still polite), they went outside to sit in the sun. whatever.
at 12, we went to have lunch in some restaurant. as often at these occasions, the priest had ordered some set menu. so it was sashimi (raw fish) again, which i can eat, but don't really care for, and i had to eat it 2 times in 3 days now. luckily, there was other stuff, too. all in all, it was quite nice. plus, we sat at the counter, and the kitchen was right on the other side of the counter (nothing unusual in japan), so i could watch the chef preparing the fish. he was a real expert, working efficiently but unhurriedly, concentrating on his job, exactly knowing what he did. indeed, it was beautiful in its own way.
the people there (cook and other guests) where easygoing folk, striking up a conversation with each other and us, and the whole atmosphere was quite relaxed. i sat in the middle of our group, which gave me the chance to sit quietly without seeming totally excluded, having a conversation to the left and one to the right, and several times the guy on the right actually attempted to strike a conversation up with me, but due to a mutual lack of topics and vocabulary we never ventured further than small talk. well, that's something still.
then, we were back at the kitchen table, stomachs full. the priest and his friend kept a conversation, while the other two nodded off sitting at the table. i had heard they wanted to leave at 2, so i kept them company without being able to catch much of what was said, but when they showed no inclination to leave, i went back to my room. finally they left at 3, and the obligatory memory pictures were taken.
so, then... one afternoon end evening alone? well, not completely, the priest's mother is living with him, but i hadn't had much contact with her yet, she moved about the house by herself mostly.
alone... so i had thought. instead, a friend of the priest's dropped in. she is so kind as to bring me to the train station tomorrow, and we confirmed again our departure here. after she left, i left too, thinking of taking a walk to the ocean to get my feet warm. on the way, i met her again, and since i could not decline her offer to take me to her house, i went with her. we visited her rabbits and chicken, and since i had planned to go to the ocean, she took me to an especially nice spot with a stunning view. all the time we kept a nice conversation, even though she didn't speak any english. somtimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. no idea why and when.
alright, finally she dropped me at the beach again, and i went wandering around a bit. then i returned, musing what i should cook for dinner. i sat in the kitchen (this being the only warm room, and the only room with a table and chairs) and wanted to to some stuff at my computer, when a friend from germany was online and we talked for a while. already before, the priest's mother had suggested i should have a cup of warm sake later. i had agreed, so at 6 i did not only get that sake, but a complete meal. even though she is really old, and moving seems tough for her, and until now the priest had cooked (or did something which might pass as cooking) for himself and me. but now she served me this meal and the sake, while she herself didn't eat anything. i know, this is the old style in japan, the lady of the house serving all others and eating afterwards, but it always makes me extremely uncomfortable, and today even more so, since she was so old and it was so hard for her. but she didn't accept any help and i had to be really stubborn to at least clean the dishes myself.
all the time, we also kept some conversation up, nothing meaningful, but nice nothingness. finally, i went to bed early, since i have been up so long, the bed is the warmes place in this house (especially with two plastic bottles filled with hot water as some kind of impromptu hot-water-bottle) and i wanted to read a little bit.
well, here i am. of course, i don't get taken away everyday, but often these kind of thngs happen, this kind of unexpected stuff, ending up who-knows where, eating who-knows-what, not knowing how long it would take and somehow keeping some nice and polite surface (and, if possible, conversation) all the time.

well. the day before yesterday, i forced myself to take some pictures of this place, so here they are.

main hall - on the right is my meditation place, in front of the altar the priest's. mine is covered with a blanket which coveres me during meditation. so i just get extremely, cold, i don't freeze completely.

backside of the main hall. even there, it is untidy...

i forgot to tell you, we went to usuki, where some 1000-years-old stone-buddhas are preserved. they are very old and very impressive, and i realized once more that i somehow lack the ability of being touched by that... i've seen so many great statues here, but somehow they all seem just... beautifully carved stone or wood to me.

priest in cold-weather-attire

i live bamboo forests!

absolutely typical japanese countryside: some wooded hills in the back, all flat terrain used for fields (mostly rice) and some houses, which look all the same.

store at the roadside

priest in priest attire

i also forgot to write: he took me to a memorial sevice for a deceased. i was amazed at the matter-of-factness, or something like that. he went in, kneeld down in front of the altar for the ancestors and started chanting immediately. the wife came in, sat down, husband came in, wife went out, husband got busy with the aircondition, and they settled a long time later. after chanting (about 10-15 minutes) the lady of the houses served us supper. again, without eating anything herself.

please note the second altar-like thing on the left: the kamidama, the altar for the shinto gods.

taken this morning after getting up. please note the date down left, in japanese order: 2nd month 1st day, tuesday. and then note the thermometer down right.