where the hell did i end up?

...i've been asking myself several times now. and many times have i though 'unfug! das ist alles unfug!' (http://dict.leo.org/ende?lp=ende&lang=de&searchLoc=0&cmpType=relaxed&sectHdr=on&spellToler=&search=unfug) sorry, i can't find a proper english word for that.
so, let me tell you. i am in a zen temple, in a small village near oita. and this place is not a monastery but a simple village temple. well, i had expected something more monastic, with a clear daily structure and lots of learning about the meaning of zen. instead, i have a first-hand experience of what a simple priest is doing - and i am shocked by how little that is. but i'll discuss that later.
the priest is very friendly, and he speaks good english and is easy to talk to, so we are having lots of discussions, which i like. i even feel i can disagree without being impolite, so it takes some strain from me. but. it seems i had the bad luck of ending up with someone who learned something about some obscure health system and is convinced that most illnesses in the modern world come from eating too much. on the other hand, he also believes that even diseases such as cancer and multiple sclerosis can be cured easily if the patient just stops eating breakfast. (and eats a good deal less in total.) which is outrageous, and makes me angry if i remember people suffering from malnutrition or anorexia. plus, it shows the one tendency of this fellow with which i totally disagree: he seems to be way too convinced. this is a state of mind i most definitely disagree with - i think it's very important to keep your mind open, always being able to question yourself. and if he loftily dismisses some things as 'fashion' (such as eating only raw food), but sees his own method as the one way to cure everything without even realizing that those fashions and his ideas are not so differnt...
well, it makes me feel disappointed.
but, at least i can argue with him.
so, my day here starts at 5:20 (dammit!), with chanting sutras (well, he chants, i just sit there) and sitting in zazen (meditation) for one hour. and, to be honest... i always rather liked meditation the few times i'd tried until now, and i felt i might like doing it longer, so i can get the hang of it, but after two mornings (and evenings again, but shorter) of sitting there, feeling colder and colder, being so tired i could sleep again, and worrying about my running nose, i have a hunch that i might just not be cut out for this. anyway, my life is not so busy right now that i feel the need to stop and be as quiet as possible. on the contrary, i am getting sick of all this introspection. i am a pretty introspective person anyway, and that's enough for me.
whatever. these two days, three women from the village joined the meditation, as they do every weekend. they are very friendly, and much less 'polite' than the people i met in the cities. anyway, people here in kyushu (or is it that they are rural people?) seem much more direct, even looking me in the eye, bowing much less and not excusing themselves all the time, which lets me feel less like an elephant in a porcelain shop. it feels more natural to me, and less easy to adapt to (for an impolite german such as i am).
so, after zazen, the ladies stayed for tea. i, however, was supposed to have only fresh cold water and a drink of some milky white substance that is supposed to 'clean up my intestines', which it does, if that means it makes me having diarrhea. though i have not yet understood what good that does.
so, no beakfast. then samu (work), and then whatever. yesterday, the priest took me to a monastery-temple in oita, where he had stayed several years himself. that was pretty impressive - just see their deep bows, and the coldness and simpleness of the place... i was especially shocked when i saw the zendo, the place where they have their zazen, and learned that this is also where they sleep! it is a simple room, with a earthen floor and a buddha statue in the middle. around the room on the walls is a line of tatami (rice-straw) mats, like a balcony inward. under the tatami are wooden boxes. each monk has one tatami mat - that is his 'room'. and a tatami mat is just big enough for sleeping on it... and the place is friggin' icy! and i bet they don't have hundreds of blankets, like i do.
then, there is lunch, and then a free afternoon, but what to do with free time in the middle of nowhere? it makes me feel bored, and kind of lonely. and then, after supper (and a hot bath), there is zazen and sutra chanting again.
this sutra chanting is quite interesting. the priest sits there, chanting the old japanese, barely understandeable text of some sutra in a monotonous voice, rising and falling rhythmical, accompanying himself by hitting a kind of woodblock and sometimes also hitting one of two singing bowls (klangschalen). if have not yet been able to figure out when and why these bowls are hit, even though i asked. i have the impression there is more tradition and less 'meaning' behind it.
so, about the work of the priest - there really isn't much to write. i had heard a lot about how buddhism in japan ended up being only 'funeral buddhism'. well... at least here, it is true. indeed, all this priest does for being a priest is holding the funeral rites and memorial ceremonies, and doing zazen and chanting every day. if i compare that to the busy life of my parents, who are christian pastors...
but, then again, he doesn't get any salary, only what he earns while performing those ceremonies. but he has the house, which is big and could be wonderful, if it was taken care of and arranged that way. he also has a vegetable garden, and i think he found some business taking people from abroad in to teach them about zen.
ah, i didn't yet tell you about my newest folly, didn't i? i stupidly agreed to try to fast the whole day. yesterday night was my last meal, which only consisted of rice soup and pickles, and tomorrow lunch will be the first again, with the same. this night i already dreamt about tasty food... well, let's see, it's another experience, and - why not.
the good thing is, i have internet, so i can keep myself occupied. because today i got a free day, whatever that is worth in the middle of nowhere. i could take a walk, but it is very cold outside, and inside is not much better - this morning my room had the confortable temperature of 4°C. so it takes long to get warm again, and since i am lying confortably in my bed (well, at least mostly comfortable, because writing on a laptop while having it literally on your lap is somewhat uncomfortable), i am not inclined to risk the warmth i have here. it was hard enough to warm the blankets up! and, anyway, without food in my stomach my taste for doing something is even less.
ah, what a day! unfug! but at least it's not long, and it truly is an experience. and don't worry, i will not judge all zen places after this one.
maybe i'll take some pictures later, but somehow this place is so unbeautiful that i didn't feel like it yet.